i am so tired.  i am so tired and i have absolutely no right to be.

for some, the killing of black and brown bodies is a cautionary tale and a rite of conversation that has been passed on from generation to generation. 

for me, i was not aware of this pattern, as a system, until the warcries of the last two years

two years

two years and i am already so tired, so unsure of what to say anymore or how to dismantle, piece by piece, the jenga tower built by my ancestors.

it is a task both daunting and arduous, and it is mine and i have no right to be tired.

but christ, how manymore times do i have to watch white friends send facebook condolences or stand in silent solidarity at gatherings and protests, because not even our voices seem to be heard?

i am full of grief and shame.

but neither that grief nor that shame will keep me silent. black lives matter.

RIP Alton Sterling 2016